‘The Abandonment’ – Otherwise known as moving home

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If i pile all my belongings behind the sofa it’s like i’m not moving

In a couple of weeks I move home and despite the fact it’s literally 20 minutes away my 13 year old sister has begun referring to it as ‘the abandonment’. At present I live in a small village in a small flat on the outskirts of Cambridge quite literally around the corner from my family, as my brother described it ‘you moved out but not really’. At the start of University in Warwick I was convinced I would not return after graduation but the whole being super unwell thing sort of meant I had to come home. Initially being in the village made sense; I had my family a street away, I used the mental health services here regularly, work is around the corner and the sense of community meant I moved from a campus bubble to a real-world bubble. Continue reading

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National Volunteers Week

Picture1So it’s national volunteers week (well it was last week and as it’s only Tuesday i’m counting it as the same thing) and i wanted to take a second to share some work i’ve been doing around the value of volunteering and how crucial it has been for my recovery.

After i came back to Cambridge i was still pretty unwell, i know this because i needed a hair cut and put it off for months because it would require someone looking at me. Because i am a regular human being who wants to use their brain i felt a strange amalgamation of wanting to do something useful that gave me purpose but also to do something where nobody relied on me or expected anything. It is quite hard to find this balance when you would like the challenge to be something other than tidying your flat and after a failed interview at the co op (failed as in did not attend) i figured employment was probably not an option. Continue reading

Mental wellness not mental illness

img_2226It’s 4:55 am and I’ve been up since about 4, I’ve recently been taking my sleeping tablets every night in order to ensure I stay well during a bit of a transitionary stage but my stock is running low which means I need to start attempting to sleep on my own like a regular human being. This is the first night of the pain in the ass that is med free sleep and my eyes are burning and I already hate this day but crazy early mornings are always a good time to blog so I’m making the most of this sleep deprived state. Continue reading